4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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