So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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