Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
