I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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