wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
