I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
