we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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