So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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