my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
