atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
