We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am spending my child support on dildos
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
