don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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