its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
