I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
