why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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