That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
