i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
