my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
