There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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