I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
