and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
