I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
