Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
