Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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