Im at strip club and am horny
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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