Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize