white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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