Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
