I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
