Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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