this just has baby written all over it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
