True but thats because hes a fetus.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
