my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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