Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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