I wannas sexs uuuuu
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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