he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
