who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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