You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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