I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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