I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize