Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
