I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
