That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
