32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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