Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
