Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
