I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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