We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
