i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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