i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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