theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
