he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
