wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize