Plan B is the new Plan A
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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