bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
