apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
soo... how was my night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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