I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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