ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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