Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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