I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
time to smoke my breakfast
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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