The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
