hotel room ftw
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
