You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
