ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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